How to Ruin Your Marriage in Five Easy Steps

I'm going to assume you clicked on this not because you want to find a way to ruin your marriage, but because you're wondering why anyone would write about how to ruin a marriage. First, let me just clarify that I do not endorse the destruction of matrimony. This is a post that is telling you how to ruin your marriage in order for you not to do so. It's satirical or something. I'm just trying to be a proper blogger and write my first "How To" post, okay? 

To preface, I have only been married for three and a half years (Blake and I have been together for five years). I wouldn't call myself a seasoned wife by any means; however, many people have come to me for relationship advice. Now, five years isn't very long, but going from dating to having a baby and raising teenagers is a lot of life to live in a short time. This is the only credibility I have to offer on this subject. 

So, here's our story, in super short:

When Blake and I started becoming close friends, it took me about zero seconds to determine that whoever married him was going to be the luckiest and smartest woman on the planet. I wouldn't say I had a crush on him right away; I just happened to have eyes and a fully functional brain. At this point in my life I had met only almost-men at best, but Blake was far ahead of the curve. After dramas and life challenges and all sorts of things God did to get my attention, by some miracle Blake realized he was impressed with me, too. When that happened, I was not about to ruin my chances, or anyone else's. I prayed that God wouldn't put us together unless I was the one Blake was supposed to marry. That was scary for me, because selfishly I hoped that I could just manipulate the situation so that I could make sure we ended up together; but I knew I was tired of being in relationships where God wasn't the one in charge. I thank God every day for answering that prayer, because I can't imagine even for a moment being married to anyone else. 

So, considering that God put the most awesome man on the planet in my path, it's not surprising that Blake and I were the friends among our friends who did most of the "firsts." First to get together, first to get engaged, first to get married, and first to have a baby. We also managed to do all four of these things before most of our friends did the first two. It wasn't a race or a contest, that's just how life happened for us. 

When Blake and I were engaged, we were still serving at Faith Baptist Church in Harrah, where Blake was the youth pastor. Along with our marriage counseling with Blake's dad, we were also being discipled by the pastor, Dan, and his wife, Gayle. During this time, Gayle and I would meet on Wednesdays before church and she would prepare me for the best and hardest job around: being a godly wife. Basically, any brilliant relationship advice I give originated from Gayle. I think there's a Rolodex in my brain filled with Gayle quotes that I can immediately reference when I am trying to make a wise decision. Anything not from this Rolodex was picked up from marriage counseling, or a lesson I lived through (or learned the hard way). In this post, I am trying to narrow it down to advice that works both ways. Maybe someday I will write a post just of quotes that help me choose to be a better wife on any given day, but for now, this is for husbands and wives.

So, that was the introduction. Without further ado, here is my post. 

How to Ruin Your Marriage
in Five Easy Steps

1. Keep a Detailed Mental Checklist of Your Spouse's Successes and Failures.
They finally did those dishes you begged them to do because after you cleaned a lot of the house you just wanted them to do that one thing: check. They finally did those dishes after you asked them sixteen times: check x 16. They changed two of the baby's diapers today: check x 2. You changed five diapers today: check x 5. They asked you to do the thing, and you did the thing, but they didn't say thank you: check. You told them (or at least implied it by the silent treatment you gave them later) if they mention this one thing that it really hurts your feelings and they mentioned it: check x another silent treatment. 

A checklist is the perfect way to ruin a marriage. If your spouse fails to make the numbers add up in their favor (spoiler alert: they will), you will both be so frustrated that your marriage will soon become a somewhat convenient living arrangement. 

2. Always Be Passive Aggressive
Communicating clearly with your spouse about how you are feeling will only bring you two to a better understanding of one another's feelings, and will no doubt result in a better marriage. No, if you want to watch your marriage slowly decay, never directly inform your spouse of what you are thinking or feeling. Communicate only through cold shoulders, eye rolling, sighing through your nose and shaking your head, and speak only these phrases, in whatever order you like: "it's nothing," "I'm fine," "it doesn't matter," or, to communicate all three with no words, simply shrug until your spouse walks away in frustration. If you do all of these things and your spouse still hasn't figured out what they have done wrong, then you have reached an expert level of passive aggressiveness, and you may move on to the next step:

3. Assume They Did It on Purpose
Clearly your spouse isn't so clueless that they truly have no idea how they upset you, so they must have done it on purpose. The fact that they are now completely uncomfortable around you probably doesn't mean that they now feel like they need to walk on eggshells around you; it's because they know they have upset you and now they are purposely upsetting you. I mean, it's highly unlikely that your spouse wants you to be happy. At this point, you may feel free to replace your passive aggressiveness with actual aggressiveness.  If you do finally share your feelings, however, make sure you communicate only in a way that will hurt them: shouting at them, blaming them, and reminding them how much they have victimized you. Whether you become aggressive or remain passive aggressive, you will then be able to proceed to the next step:

4. Use Sex as a Reward and Punishment System
They told you how wonderful they think you are and you went on a date together tonight, so they have earned some hanky panky after the kids go to bed. They haven't said they're sorry yet so they're not getting lucky tonight. Your husband came home from work and even though the kids were driving you nuts and you were trying to finish cooking dinner after you had a long day of your own he sat down in front of the TV, his computer screen, or his phone--or, better yet, decided that was the best time to use the bathroom. Obviously, just asking him to help you is out of the question, so instead you can revert back to step two, sit through a tense dinner, and say you're "not really in the mood tonight" when he tries spooning you in bed later. Your wife didn't put out when you came home from an awful day at work last week, so even though she clearly wants to make love tonight you're going to use the same lame excuse of having period cramps (or, a lame excuse that actually makes sense). Pretty soon you will both keep each other from intimacy for so long that there will be no more intimacy.

5. Ask Yourself Often, "What if I Had Married Someone Else?"
It doesn't really matter whether or not it was someone you actually dated or even knew. Sometimes a made up person that you may have ended up meeting in a coffee shop if you hadn't been married to your spouse is enough to get your imagination running freely. Who knows? Maybe someone else you might have married would have appreciated you more and always understood your feelings without you ever having to utter a word. Maybe someone else would have done everything you wanted or felt like you needed so you could be satisfied with your marriage. After all, your marriage is about you, right?


So there's my list, at least the top five ways I would pick. For more seasoned spouses, what are some things you would think of that would ruin a marriage?

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Sorry for that cliche title, but also not sorry because it is so true.

I hope all of you had a wonderful time with your families for Thanksgiving. Our three boys are fortunate enough that they all have a place to go home and spend the week off for Thanksgiving with their families, and they got back to the ranch on Sunday. They had a great time with their families, but they all seemed really excited to see each other.

The Saturday before the boys left, we had a Liddell family Thanksgiving together. This was particularly exciting for me, because I got to experience the joy of hosting a Thanksgiving dinner and making it really special for the guys. Blake took care of the turkey, I was cooking everything else from 8:30am to 2pm, and the boys got to have the kind of Thanksgiving that I remember so well from my childhood. We all sit down for dinner together every night, but the Thanksgiving meal definitely stood out. What a blessing it was to celebrate all that God has provided for us as a family. Boys that come to Willow Springs all have a story, often with a recurring theme of loss; however, it was so great to hear them talk about what they were thankful for this year. All three of our boys said they were extremely thankful for the food (I think every teenage boy spends at least 75% of their day thinking about food), and for their Willow Springs family. The Willow Springs family isn't just our boys, Blake, Adeline, and me, but all of us who invest day in and day out in the six boys who live here. I am so glad that the boys are thankful for Willow Springs, and I hope they realize more and more how thankful Willow Springs is for them.

As Thanksgiving festivities have wound down, we have begun all of the Christmas festivities at our house. I wanted to make Christmas at Willow Springs something that lasts longer than just one day together and is filled with nothing but stuff. I wanted to start new traditions as a family, something that the boys can look back on and specifically remember to inspire them to want to give to others and appreciate being together. It also had to be something that would involve our relief parents when we are on our days off in December. So, I figured the boys would enjoy an advent calendar. I am going to post what our advent countdown includes, on the condition that NO ONE TELLS THE BOYS ANYTHING ON THIS LIST! It's all a surprise :) Also, if it inspires you to make a list for your family, by all means, please copy me. It's going to be fun :)

THE LIDDELL HOUSE ADVENT CALENDAR TRADITION
Each day of the advent calendar will start with one of the boys reading a Bible excerpt that describes Christ's birth. At the end of every day, before bed, Blake and I will read Jotham's Journey to the boys.

Day 1: Stringing popcorn and cranberries and decorating the tree

Day 2: Taking a family picture by the tree (for the Christmas card)

Day 3: Making gifts for teachers at school
Day 4: Watch a Christmas movie together and make hot chocolate.

Day 5: Make a list of people (family and friends) that they want to buy or make presents for this year

Day 6: Our relief parents will take the boys to the City Rescue Mission in OKC to take donations to the homeless, such as socks, gloves, etc.

Day 7: Watch the Polar Express together and eat popcorn

Day 8: Make a bunch of homemade Christmas cards.

Day 9: Take the homemade Christmas cards to the Chandler nursing home

Day 10: Drink homemade apple cider

Day 11: Make paper snowflakes and decorate their doors with them.

Day 12: Wrapping presents for kids at a local homeless program in Shawnee, or helping with a refugee program in OKC (this is one we are still working out at the moment) 

Day 13: Take the boys Christmas shopping in Shawnee.

Day 14: Going to the Christmas musical at First Baptist Chandler

Day 15: Wrap Christmas presents, made or bought.

Day 16: Make and decorate Christmas cookies.

Day 17: Listen to Christmas music, play a game together, and eat popcorn.

Day 18: Make Christmas candy for the Christmas party for the ranch tonight.

Day 19: Drive around and see Christmas lights

Day 20: Our family Christmas and Christmas dinner! :)

Day 21: Our boys go home to spend Christmas with their families, but will take the remaining days of the advent calendar home with them. 

Day 22: Boys read a letter encouraging them to thank their family and say one kind thing to every single family member they are with for Christmas.

Day 23: Boys read another letter encouraging them to do one selfless thing for each of their family members or a family member they disagree with the most.

Day 24: Boys will open a present of Christmas pajamas.

Day 25: Boys will receive a Christmas ornament they can keep at home, so that whenever they leave WSBR some day, they will have the ornament as a keepsake. :)

I have had a few people ask me what they can give to the boys for Christmas. Any general donation for any amount you feel led to give during the Christmas season would be greatly appreciated. Other ideas could be Walmart gift cards to help pay for some of the extra grocery expenses that come around during Christmas, such as some of the things mentioned in our advent list above. Thank you in advance for whatever you and your family commit to give!

Thank you all for taking the time to read this blog, follow us on Facebook, text us, call us, and everything else you do to be a part of what God is doing at Willow Springs Boys Ranch. Your love, support, and prayers make a difference in our lives and in the lives of each boy that comes here. I truly believe that God is doing miraculous, redemptive works through the legacy of Willow Springs. What a blessing it is to be a part of this story, and what a blessing it is to have you be a part of it, too!

I leave you with pictures of the Christmas decorating that I am entirely too excited to have all over our home.

The outside view of our lights. :)

 

We don't have stockings for the boys yet :(

We'll (Still) Love You Wherever You Live

One great thing about WSBR is that, though we ideally want boys to have a place to grow up and graduate high school and feel a part of a family, some boys really just need a temporary safe place, and the ranch can do that. MC left the ranch this morning, and seeing a boy leave after about three weeks is not fun for us; however, we trust that God is going with him where we can't. Please pray that the seeds planted while MC was here would miraculously take root and grow and produce fruit in the future, no matter where he goes in life. I firmly believe that the decades of fervent prayer that still cover the land of WSBR were just as much for the boys who were only here for a short time as they are for the boys that are and will be here for years--please join me in continuing the legacy of faith in God's hand in their lives by praying for all of the boys whose lives have been affected by their time at Willow Springs.

On a brighter (and slightly ironic) note, we actually have another boy moving in on Monday morning. LC is fourteen years old, and is in 8th grade. He likes to play basketball and he likes art. We met him on Tuesday, and he and his parents are awesome. We are so looking forward to him coming to the ranch; we think he will fit in perfectly around here!

Here are some things you can be praying for this week:

• LC as he moves in and begins to adjust to life on the ranch starting Monday
• For us to find effective (and possibly pretty creative) solutions for grades to stay where they need to be
• When LC moves in on Monday, we will once again have three boys in each house. We still have room for five more boys per house, so please pray for any future boys that God brings to us!
• For God to lead generous donors to give in order to keep up financially as our ranch families grow

Here are some things you may consider donating:

• You may have seen me post on Facebook about a Christmas tree. Upon further examination of our budget, we really can't afford to buy a Christmas tree. However, if your family is buying a new tree and you need to get rid of your old one, please consider donating it to the ranch! I would be okay with cutting down and bringing in a real tree, but the carpet in the Liddell house is really new, and I'm afraid the sap of a tree would ruin it. Blake and I have a 7ft tree, but I am hoping to secure a larger tree that will stay with the Liddell house long after Blake and I are gone.
• I don't have enough information at this point to know exactly what LC will be bringing with him on Monday, but once we figure out what he does need, we will let you know. 

Thank you for reading; we covet your prayers!

Grocery Shopping: Not for the Faint of Heart

I am often caught telling stories of my weekly grocery shopping experiences. Especially when Adeline comes with me, it is an hour(s) long ordeal. Partially because I get stopped in every aisle at WalMart so that someone can gawk over my daughter (and she loves it way too much), and partially because, oddly enough, people are very curious and confused as to why a young mom with a young daughter needs a cart stacked so full of food. When my first answer is, "I am also feeding three teenage boys and my husband," the looks only become more puzzled. Depending on the amount of interest each questioning passerby shows, I don't mind sharing the WSBR story. I once (or twice...or more) had to cut a conversation short because I was afraid the chicken in my cart would go bad before the 10 minute check-out process and the 30(ish) minute drive back to Chandler from Edmond.

One of my favorite stories from grocery shopping was a recent trip where Blake went with Adeline and me. I told him this would most likely be a perfect opportunity for him to see just how often I was stopped and why it takes me so long to get out of WalMart. After I was already stopped a few short times during the actual grocery shopping, Blake and I finally got into a checkout line. Between the two of us we managed to empty the cart pretty quickly, but the cashier noticed the name "Willow Springs Boys Ranch" on the tax exempt card and was immediately curious. After she had already spent five minutes trying to convince us to let her babysit Addie (flattering yet unsettling), she began to ask where the money for all of this food comes from--do we pay for it, and are compensated later? Do the boys actually live in our house and do we actually cook everything for them? Is this an alternative to foster care? How big is this whole operation? After a while, the cashiers in both checkout lanes next to us as well as their customers were in on this interview. How many boys do you have? What's the most boys you could have? How old can they be? Do you really trust them around your baby (how old is she? Oh, she is just so pretty!)? By the time we actually got all of our groceries back in the cart and everything paid for, we had spent close to half an hour in the line. It may have been shorter, but I'm pretty sure it was half an hour.

Now, to be fair, that wasn't a totally typical shopping day. What I want to help you all to picture is my weekly ritual, and what it takes to make it happen.

When I go grocery shopping each week, I am thoroughly prepared. I have my list of what is for dinner each night and what ingredients I need, plus exactly what snacks and how much I'm going to buy (as of now our snacks each week are apples, bananas, or clementines. When these are out, we have popcorn for special family nights, like a game night or movie night). I also buy those giant super-value bags of cereal and milk, which the boys have for breakfast every morning, and we do a special breakfast on Saturday mornings if we can budget for it that week. We have our family meals, and meals planned for Stephanie to cook when our relief parents are on call for us. Now, to give you an idea of how many people that is, on a typical weeknight dinner we are feeding two adults, three boys (which is really more than an adult appetite), and baby (who basically has an adult appetite). That's six people. When our relief parents are over, dinner feeds seven people. And, obviously, I include breakfast and lunch options for the whole week, which is usually sandwiches or ramen (guys, ramen is really awesome).

If you're a busy mom with a big family like me, you know how much work this is. Every Sunday afternoon I sit down for about an hour and a half and plan the meals, make the list, and also check the house for anything we're out of (trash bags, laundry detergent, dish detergent, paper towels, freezer bags, etc). After staff meeting on Monday, Blake, Adeline and I eat a quick lunch (usually whatever leftovers are left in the fridge, as Blake will typically clean them out of the fridge while I'm gone so we can have an empty fridge for when I get back), I get on a comfortable pair of shoes, and off I (or we) go.

Now, this was my shopping cart today. I had gotten most of what I needed, but it was actually a little more full by the time I got to the checkout. This is with three boys in the house. *taps the mic twice* Three. Our two houses have room for eight boys each to live here. I know what you're thinking--I'm going to have to move to two carts soon and Blake will HAVE to come with me. Wait, maybe that's what I'm thinking.

Maybe you are thinking any number or combination of these things:

• That is a really full cart.
• Doesn't that get really hard to push around WalMart? Answer: definitely. How do you think I've developed any resemblance of arm muscle for the first time in my life? 
• My family's cart is usually fuller than this for just one week. 
• The cart is a nice visual, but I'm also thinking of other expenses that go along with living life.
• Who pays for all of this?
• How can I help?

Willow Springs Boys Ranch is an organization run entirely on donor support. All of the things provided for our family--groceries, living expenses, school supplies, etc.--all comes from however much money is given to us. Also raised by donor support is the house parents' pay checks and health insurance. Now, before you think I'm holding out a beggar's cup here, I need you to know that I do not want anyone to feel obligated to donate money to the ranch. As I have said before and wholeheartedly believe, we need your prayers. We completely trust God to provide everything we need. I am merely responding to the one question that I hear from all who are invested in the WSBR ministry: "How can I help?" Make a commitment to pray for Willow Springs daily, weekly, monthly--whatever you can. If you feel like the Spirit is leading you to do something in addition to praying, please prayerfully consider giving a monthly donation. This can be small. For example, if ten families committed to give $25 a month, that would pay for a week of groceries for one of the houses.

If you're reading this, know that you are appreciated. Even just caring enough to read through this shows me that you care about what God is doing at Willow Springs, and I thank you.  

Ravings of a House Mom Who Can't Sleep Yet

Here are some of the things that are on my mind while I wait for the laundry to finish drying so I can take a well-earned bath, grab my favorite pajamas (otherwise known as the comfiest looking clothes in Blake's closet), and fall asleep.

Blake and I have been at Willow Springs for nine months. A year ago, I was spending every day doing laundry, dishes, watching daytime television, breastfeeding, and trying desperately to get Adeline to laugh so that I could distract myself from the fact that I was just...waiting. All the time. Waiting for Blake to get home from work; waiting for a phone call that said we could move in to the Liddell house or that we had a boy who was for sure coming; waiting for Adeline's next milestone so I could stop worrying when everyone mentioned how small she was (spoiler alert: she actually wasn't that small, and she is extremely healthy--wearing 18-24mo clothes, and seems like she will be closing in on 3 feet tall in no time); or, waiting to see whether or not I could afford to buy groceries soon. You see, nine months before we moved to Chandler, we were just starting this waiting game. In March we were candidates to become worship leaders at a church near Tulsa, and before that fell through, we waited for three months to hear anything after we were told they "wanted" to hire us. Obviously, in March, we were also waiting for baby Adeline to be born, as she was born May 31.

From March to January, those nine months honestly felt much longer than nine months of pregnancy. Sometimes, it really felt longer than four years of earning my degree in voice. It felt especially longer on the nights when Adeline had nothing to sleep in but her porta-crib, and on the really cold nights I would bring the only two space heaters we owned into her room, put her in her warmest pajamas, cover her with two blankets, and try to encourage myself that she still had far more than the majority of children in this world. Most of all, I repeated to myself over and over that this would pass, and that God is faithful.

This did pass, and, yes, God is more than faithful.

Tonight I am sitting in a house that is more than capable of standing through the thunderstorm that's on its way. My daughter is sleeping soundly in a crib with a mattress and everything in a room that is perfectly warm. I have three boys who, even at their worst, are the physical manifestation of months of prayers and hopes and dreams. Also, the difference in how long nine months has lasted is staggering--the nine months from January until now have gone by in the blink of an eye.

On days when being a house mom gets pretty hectic, and I feel like I am firing on all cylinders, I remember all that waiting. I remember that I much prefer feeling spent from pouring out everything in me than feeling restless.

If you feel you have been waiting for entirely too long, my heart breaks for you. I understand this feeling. My hope and prayer is that you could feel the Holy Spirit's nearness to you in this time, and that you would be strengthened by the assurance that this too shall pass, and God is faithful. Also, whatever you are waiting for, whatever vision or promise God has given you, is worth the wait. Future self, who will undoubtedly find herself waiting for something again, do you hear me? God did it, and He will do it again.

The Growing Liddell House

This morning, our newest boy, MC, moved into the Liddell house. We are so excited to have him here! He will be fifteen years old in November, and he is a freshman. He plays football and basketball, but seems to prefer basketball. He starts school here in Chandler on Monday.

So far, MC has been pretty quiet. Considering how talkative our other two boys are, I don't foresee him getting many words in, anyway. I can't give a lot of details about MC, for his protection, but I can tell you that the parts of his story that I do know break my heart. When I came out of our apartment to meet him this morning, all I saw were two plastic sacks of clothes on the table. When Blake asked if there was anything else he needed to help get out of their car, those who were dropping him off said that was all he had.

Tomorrow we are going to Shawnee to get him some clothes and things he needs for school, and he needs a lot. If you want to donate anything for him, please go to the WSBR website or contact me via Facebook, and I can further direct you on how you can help. In addition to clothes and school supplies, some ideas for things you could make or give that might make him feel even more welcome at the ranch would be some things I have asked for the other boys in the past: monogrammed towels, a quilt or blanket, etc.

One thing we would ask for MC, as well as our other two boys, would be a Bible of their own. I think it would be really great if they could have a leatherbound NIV with their names, or even a really great teen boy study bible--anything that would be easy for them to read. I think they all have a Bible, but not one they find easy to read. If this is something you would like to give, please contact me via Facebook, or if you have my phone number, you can call or text me, and I will respond as quickly as possible.

More than all of these things, we covet your prayers for MC as he adjusts to life at the ranch. Pray for him to find peace and comfort here, and a growing relationship with Christ. We thank God for your prayers and support of our ministry at Willow Springs!

All About Florida, and Then Some

Since my last post in August, so much has happened; which is, honestly, the reason I haven't written a post about Florida and everything until now. So, brace yourselves for what may be a pretty long post!

Not too long after my last post, the situation at TJ's home changed, and he was able to go home. We were definitely sad to see him leave, but we count it as a success that he could have a home here at the ranch when he needed it, and now he can be back with his family. He ended up going home just a few days before we left for Florida; so for those of you who have seen us around church with two boys instead of three, this is why.

Our WSBR family vacation to Florida was just awesome! Even the drives there and back weren't too bad; the boys basically slept, listened to music, or watched movies through the whole drive. Blake and Jon were both awesome drivers--they drove the whole 14-17 hours (it varied on the way there and back, depending on the number of stops we made) without asking either Whitney or me for a break. Personally, I don't mind that one bit. The drive was also made easier for us considering Adeline stayed with my parents while we were gone. As much as we missed her, we were all thinking about how much she would have hated being in the car for that long. Also, this was a great time for Blake and I to devote 100% attention to CS and IG, and they never had to worry about being quiet because Adeline was sleeping or anything.

When we got to the condo in Destin around 10pm, the boys were pretty delirious from being in the car. I think they were doing Forest Gump impersonations for the last twenty minutes of the drive--however, I'm not sure it was on purpose. They excitedly explored the condo for about fifteen minutes, helped unload the car quickly, and crashed in their bed. I don't blame them, the adults did basically the same thing, we just had to unpack the food first. The condo was absolutely incredible! Jon and Whitney's three boys shared one room, and our boys shared another. Each set of house parents had one of the master bedrooms, and our relief parents and their three kids had the guest house (an addition to the condo on the other side of the deck). We had a huge deck that the boys usually sat at to eat for lunch so that they could go right back to swimming in the pool after they were done eating.

All five boys at the beach. This may have been the first day, but I don't remember.

There was a beach just two blocks down the street from us, and another beach two blocks over from that one. Both were just gorgeous, and SO fun. We would alternate which ones we went to every day. The boys spent their time swimming with goggles and following fish around, looking for sand dollars and sea shells (not to mention they found at least four pairs of sunglasses floating around in the ocean), boogie boarding, "body surfing," and one day they all got to take a turn on a paddle board that Blake rented for half a day. The first few days at the beach had pretty big waves, which was fun for body surfing and boogie boarding, but could also be painful if they knocked you over hard enough. This didn't seem to phase the boys, however--I think they spent at least two hours riding wave after wave after wave. The last few days the waves were calmer, and the boys would use the boogie boards to lay on and float around, or would keep looking for fish. One of Jon and Whitney's boys got stung by a jellyfish during one of these calmer days, and it turned into one of those "check out this scar" kind of stories (except the mark was only there for a day or so). We also rented a moped for the week that the boys could take turns riding with Blake and Jon on frequently. Each set of houseparents also got a chance to go on a date night, and took the moped to get there. It was really, really fun!

The boys also loved going to the beach at night with flashlights looking for crabs. They were tiny, white little things that were so fast and hard to catch, but I'm sure each boy wiped out several times diving to grab one. The ranch boys are quite tenacious when it comes to chasing and catching critters (can we motivate them to be as determined to finish math homework?).

Our family at Dewey's. 

CS and IG at dinner at Dewey's. This is actually a pretty good illustration of what it's like in our house most of the time.

One of my favorite days in Florida was when each family went out on their own family night. Our family went shopping, played a few games of laser tag (even when we all teamed up against him, Blake still dominated), and went out to eat at a local seafood restaurant called Dewey's. Dewey's was a little Mom and Pops' looking place that sat right on the harbor. The seafood was caught fresh and cooked up that day. It was oh-my-gosh-why-do-I-ever-eat-at-Red-Lobster good. We all shared this amazing cheesy crab dip stuff, the boys each ate a fish and chips type basket, Blake got bacon stuffed fried shrimp, and I got the most incredible tuna "steak" ever. It kind of made me sad that the same amazingly delicious tuna I was eating is often fated to becoming that tuna in a can. I'm sure they dreamed of so much more.

IG and CS at the lookout point of the deck at Dewey's.

Blake and I on the deck at Dewey's.

After dinner, we noticed a little drop off by the deck that was covered with really cool shells, and the boys asked if they could get one. As they climbed down to grab a few shells, they noticed they were starting to move. There were at least forty big hermit crabs crawling around on the rocks! We limited them to choose about five each, and they were all really cool and way more interesting then any of the hermit crabs they would charge you for in a store. Most of these made the trip home, but after about a week or so most of them died. There was one--the biggest one--that made it the longest, and we would frequently come home to see had somehow managed to crawl out of the big bucket and end up somewhere in a corner of the garage. This, and the fact that hermit crabs resemble spiders to me, totally gave me the jibblies; but, the boys enjoyed them while they lasted.

This is the moped that Blake and Jon rented for the week. The boys each had several opportunities to go for a ride, and it saved a TON of gas money. CS looks like he's pouting because he can't drive it. 

Our family taking a quick picture with the paddle board before we had to return it. 

All this to say, friends of the ranch who donated and made this trip possible, thank you so much. It was an incredible experience for the WSBR boys, and I think they will cherish this memory for the rest of their lives. Not only was the trip memorable because, hello, it's an amazing beach in amazing Destin, Florida, but because many of these boys, if they have been on a family vacation, they have been few and far between; this was a chance for them to be a part of this WSBR family that loves each other and enjoys spending time with each other and going on adventures together. We learned more about working together as a family and being respectful, responsible, and fun to be with. We had an amazing time! Thank you, thank you, thank you for blessing us!

In order to catch everyone up to speed for some things that are happening in our lives lately, here's a few things to let you know:

• If you're wondering why in the world it seems like Blake, the boys, Adeline and I have barely been at FBC Chandler lately, that's because we have been filling in to lead worship frequently at two different churches, one near Harrah and one in Edmond. We're still around on Wednesdays, though. We promise we aren't ditching you!

• Our boys pretty much eat, sleep, and breathe football right now. If you ever want to come to a Chandler Junior High Football home game, we will totally save you a seat. You can hold my hand while I pray that neither of them get hit hard enough to do permanent damage. I'm not sure when the next home game is, but you will probably see me post on Facebook about it.

• Please be praying for any future boys that may be coming to the ranch. We definitely have room!

Thank you, friends of Willow Springs, for your prayers and everything else you do to support us. We thank God for you!