This blog name is inspired by our boys’ love for the “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” books. A likes to read them to me—it was one of the first things we did together when I picked him up from school on Thursday after a misunderstanding on his part. And to think, that was only two days ago.
Wait, this is only day four?
Shawnee feels like a distant memory. Four days ago, it lingered in my mind similarly to the way the smell of a dead skunk on the road lingers—even after you have passed it, it still stinks. The smell finally begins to fade and you’re like, “Phew, that smelled awful. Glad that’s finally over.”
But, we all know how it goes. When the going gets tough, the grass on the other side gets greener. So, today—after a long day of NOT being angry and our house boys NOT being in trouble and “hey A, are you feeling overwhelmed?” and talking to our boys through their closet doors—I thought, “Shawnee didn’t smell that bad.”
Then, like a wisp of smoke from the bonfire both houses gathered around to roast hot dogs tonight, the thought vanished. I began to remember feeling the walls of our tiny house shrink around us as we prayed for our Promised Land. I remembered the first time I saw our boys’ pictures on my iPhone screen and lovingly thought, “You’re going to drive me crazy. It’s going to be awesome.” I looked around our big house, and the big ranch, and the big eyes of our boys, and how many big smiles Adeline has had since we have been here, and knew that this BIG adventure is where we are supposed to be.
Our two boys—who will be referred to as “A” and “T”—are in bed now after a long day. A is going to turn eleven in about twelve days now, and T is going to turn ten next month. Having younger boys is fun, but also exhausting in its own way. Their anger and other feelings are difficult for them to navigate. The only way they seem to be able to express themselves clearly is through writing notes. In only a few days, I think we have had four or five notes passed under their doors to us.
It is amazing how abundantly God grants His love to those who ask for it. There have been multiple times today (well, since Wednesday) where I prayed, “Lord, please give me grace in this moment,” and within minutes I see some reminder of the love the boys are asking me for, and my heart does a somersault. The Mom in me wants to come to their rescue. The Mom in me also wants to ground them; but lovingly, of course.
Four days, y’all. Welcome to The Ranch!